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4 entries this month
Good News
11:58 Mar 28 2007
Times Read: 690
My son won the Superattendants Award for his art. I am so estatic for him cause its an honor. He is so happy about it that he was bouncing off the walls the day of his ceremony.
Some ex's should be shot...
11:19 Mar 28 2007
Times Read: 692
Ugh I hate ex bs yet I love baby mama dramahehe. Ok That comment lightened my mood some...
This past weekend as been a hellacious one. My ex is a crack head who thinks that I'm gonna allow my son to stay with him in a house that only my ex is at. What a moron.
It started out because my son wanted to spend the weekend with his half brother (my 2nd son so to speak). My ex's mom has custody of Nick (my stepson) so I told my ex's mom that he wanted to go there tio stay the weekend and she promised me that Samuel (my son) would spend time with his dad as well.
My ex calls me up bitchin cause he's not supposedly allow at his mom's house. The truth of the matter is that he can go anytime he likes to over there. He tried to get me to deny his mom & her bf from ever seeing Samuel again all because he got kicked out of his mom's for leaving crack cans and shit in the shop where his 16yr old brother hangs out with his friends. Its a damn shame that he caused so much grief to his brother cause some of Shawn's (my ex's brother well my brother as well) started believing that Shawn was doing crack. I remember what its like to be 16 and its hard enough without people accusing you of doing that which another has done.
Anyways I digress. Daniel threatened to take me to court to not only court order visitation but to also obtain custody of Samuel. I'm not worried bout that part cause he failed to prove to be worthy as a parent. How in the hell can any fail parenting class expect to achiev such, I'll never know. As usual he spent what time he had with Samuel trying to grill info out of him. Geesh he needs a life other than me cause I'll be damn if I go back to him.Before someone thinks that I am being to into myself don't cause he told me he wanted me back and his primary aim in life atm is to obtain his family back. Well if we go to court for him to get court ordered visitation he's in for a suprise. I will require him to retake everything DSS put us through. The drug tests and parenting class and therapy of self. Also I will add for him to take that stupid ass class I had to take in order to get my divorce finally. I have done so much shit to prove my being a good mom in the normies world and my ex well he tried to swing it by not showing that he cared one bit bout either of his sons.
He lashed Nick awhile back, from top of Nicks back to his calves, he had that child's back bleeding from it. Hence one reason he was kicked out as well. Damn I can't believe he hurt that son of mine like that again. Thats what brought DSS into our lives, he lashed Nick's lower back & upper thighs pretty good. I didn't think much about overlooking Nick after his dad spanked him (and I wish I did). He went to school that next morn and before I knew what was going on DSS came to take both my boys away. It was a hard journey to partake but my kids were worth every bit of it. I see my stepson pretty much only when it comes time to pick up Samuel and not much more. But to Nick I am mom not his real mom but me. I miss having both boys but life doesn't always work out that way i suppose.
Explanation: I stated that Shawn's my brother as well. He isn't by blood but he did state more than once that he woud rather keep his sister (me) than his own blood half brother (Daniel my ex). Daniels entire family still sees me as family and are willing to help me obtain whatever I may need for Samuel. Shit they would help me period.
Do ex husbands ever learn?
10:21 Mar 19 2007
Times Read: 696
As everyone knows I don't spread my problems all over the place but I also know that only my friends read thihs damn journal & I don't keep hidden away from them knowing anymore. So I'm not emo I'm just not hiding. anyways...
I got a call this past weekend from my ex husband's mom's bf (this is why I wasn't online btw). Seems my ex has not changed any and has begun threatening his family on seeing my son as well. I have 100% full custody of our son. I can leave the country without him being able to stop me from taking my son with me.
Well Micheal (my ex's mom's bf) called because once again they kicked Daniel (my ex hubby) out of their house. He tells them that they will never see Samuel (mine & Daniel's son) again. So Micheal calls me to be sure that what Daniel said was utter bs. Its bad to comfort a crying man & the reason that he cries is because he felt he would never see his grandson again. So Daniel's got a big suppose coming this weekend coming up because he will not get Samuel but his mother will so Samuel can spend the weekend with his half brother. (Daniel lost custody of both his sons due to his drug habit plus he lost me)
Micheal told me about Daniel spending his $400 paycheck in one night on crack. Normally I wouldn't give a rat's ass but there are more involved. Daniel told me Friday that he had last weeks child support paid (I still haven't seen it). I admit I was a li'l mad but this drew the line. Samuel had a field trip & due to the fact I didn't get the check in I didn't have any extra to give him to spend. He asked his dad & his dad blew it on drugs. I hate when someone makes a promise to my son & don't keep it. I never make my son promises that I might be unable to keep. Samuel here's "We'll see" more than "Ok I'll do it."
Like thats not enough to piss me off but Micheal told me bout the last time Daniel spanked my stepson Nicholas. He beat that child something fierce. Nick had marks all over his back & legs, so bad that some were bleeding. Nick's not mine but dammit I raised him better than anyone else has. Nick calls me his mom & he wants me to be nearer to him than I live at the moment. A child who denies his real mother cause of her abuse and neglect, then has to deal with a dad the same way. That poor boy. I cry at the thought of the pain they have put them through.
I honestly would love to torture the ever living hell out of Daniel and make him beg me to kill him but I know what could go wrong. I am not losing my son over him again. I will not take out the one parent my stepson can remember fondly throughout his life. Nor will I give my ex the satisfaction of knowing that he put me in that state of mind.
Honestly I don't know what to do cause to a point my hands are tied. Very few people know what it feels like to know you can help & save one but not both of your kids. I watch Samuel have the life that Nicholas deserves. I wish I pushed Daniel harder when we 1st got Nick to get full custody rights. If he did that I would have both of my boys with me & I would know that they were safe from the abuse of their father.
I'll stop now ... before I either cry uncontrollably or I just go string Daniel up. Neither of these are an option for Samuel is sick right now and he needs me. I just wish I could do the same for Nick.
I'm alive
09:27 Mar 13 2007
Times Read: 702
Well I survived my surgery & I lost no more lives in the process. So yay. I still have bouts of exscruciating pains but the lessen the more lazy I am. I have just started coming online again bout a week now but I just able to access my vr account. I don't know what happened but my password wouldn't work then the temp pass wouldn't work, so I had to email Cancer to help me get on now. So hopefully my next time on my password works and I can be on the site for a longer time but I have things to do like wake my son up cause he refuses to leave without knowing I'm alright. Its been rough but it seems to just be him over worrying and acting out a little bit. I'm prying that I don't get any phone calls at this time lmao. okies well I love you guys and I miss you greatly. I'll catch ya round.
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